Along came a spider and sat down beside her.. except it wasn't beside me, it was sitting on my right boob, poised to take its next step towards my face!
To say I don't do spiders doesn't nearly convey the total body meltdown which occurs whenever I encounter one of the skulking octopeds. The above incident happened while I was reading by lamplight, my usual nightly routine prior to slipping into unconsciousness. I did eventually go to sleep that night. It only took me about an hour to shake every piece of bedding, claw my fingers repeatedly through my hair, put on shoes and stamp round the bedroom, construct a pitifully ineffective barrier out of toilet paper and a chess board, reassure the jack russell that everything was fine and for good measure shake every piece of bedding again. Fortunately, it was someone else's house or I would have had to consider fumigation and complete bedroom refurbishment. As it is, that house is on my arachnid alert list and any future visits must be rigorously risk assessed.
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